Don't You Want to Come Visit?!

So my MIL called me up the other day all excited because she got her Family Circle magazine (the August issue) and saw this cover story - I've linked to the web version below, or if you happen to have the magazine in print, it begins on page 49. It's the 10 best towns in the entire U.S. to raise a family (based on things like town amenities, schools, nice and affordable housing, family activities, low crime, environment policies, etc.) and check out which town got #2!!!!!!!! :)

.....yes, it would be ORO VALLEY, AZ!!!!!

http://www.parents.com/family-life/work-money-politics/buying-home/best-family-towns/?psrc=fpfc0710p1

10 Best Towns for Families: 2008

By Michael J. Weiss

We searched the country to find perfect places to live and raise kids. This year's winners offer more than affordable homes, great schools, and good neighbors -- they're also making smart moves to save the planet.

The Estrogen Dominance Continues!!! ;)

So my grandmother, my SIL, and Madeleine were right!

Yes, we found out on Thursday, IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!!! Steve and Andrew better stick together, because it's going to be even more "pink" than usual around here!

Of course, the most important thing is that she looks perfectly healthy, measured exactly right for my dates, and everything seemed wonderful! And then we very clearly saw her um, female anatomy ;) For those of you who pray, please continue to keep us and our new little girl in your prayers - everything looks great right with the baby now, but there is still a slightly higher risk of problems because of my thyroid issue, even though my levels are perfectly stable at the moment.

I am SOOOOOO excited. Of course I would have been equally excited for a boy, too, for different reasons, but now I just keep picturing another beautiful little girl, pulling out the boxes of adorable little dresses from Teresa and Maddy, going back to my girly-colored diaper bags and slings that I haven't used in years...I can't wait!

I'm thrilled that we found out the baby's gender, but still, knowing makes me even MORE impatient because I feel like I can picture her now and I want to be holding her and snuggling her in a sling and nursing her and basking in those newborn days that I love SO much! And I am still not quite halfway through this pregnancy, so I have 21 weeks to wait until I can do that!

So as for names, which lots of people have asked about, this is the first time we haven't been 100% sure well in advance. Our top two choices right now are Isabelle Marie and Hannah Marie. What do you think? I also like Noelle, but Steve isn't so crazy about it. Maybe if she were going to be born later in December, but he thinks it's strange to have a mid-November baby named Noelle. (And it does look like she'll be arriving one way or another between Nov. 18 and Nov. 25 - the perinatologist out here whom I'm seeing for consults because of my thyroid condition is a lot more conservative in managing pregnancy in women with Graves' Disease than they were back in the Northeast, so he's pushing me to induce between 39 and 40 weeks, for various reasons. I'll be getting a second opinion and doing some research over the next few months before I decide what to do - more on this in another post!)

For now, we're just thanking God for the blessing of another healthy little baby girl!

So who's going to plan a Christmas vacation out here to meet her, hm?! We'll have lovely weather in 60's or so while you all back East are freezing your bottoms off! ;)

Great Contest!

Just wanted to share - check out this great contest where you can win a complete babywearing wardrobe - all different kind of carriers!

Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Drew is Two!!!

....as he's been telling everyone, all day, from the guy at the bakery where we picked up his cake, to the woman dispensing the tokens at Chuck E. Cheese :)

I cannot believe my (not so) little boy is 2! It doesn't seem possible. It feels like I just gave birth to him last month. But we had a great day today - which was even more special because, believe it or not, this was the first time Andrew had Daddy here for his birthday! Steve was overseas both the actual day Andrew was born AND the day of his first birthday.

We didn't have a huge party this time (I know, out of character for me!) but just spent the afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese with my friend and her 2-year-old twin sons. Then we went to Red Robin for dinner and came back home to have Andrew's cake - decorated with a baseball and baseball field (his obsession!) of course.

Photos to come - I promise! Yes, I know, I still have to post photos from Maddy's birthday last month. But now I have to get to sleep because we have a busy day again tomorrow. In the morning, Andrew and Teresa both have their annual well-child visits to the doctor (Teresa won't actually be 6 for a little more than a month still, but I'm combining the physicals tomorrow because I need to get Teresa's medical forms back to her new school ASAP.)

And then in the afternoon - the appointment I've been eagerly awaiting - my ultrasound! I am almost 19 weeks, and I'm having a sonogram as well as a high-risk consult (I'm not really high-risk, but because of my thyroid condition I'm going to have a few periodic consults with a maternal-fetal medicine doc just to make sure it's not causing any problems). So of course, I am mainly anxious to make sure everything is OK and the baby is healthy - but I admit, I am also sooooo anxious to know whether the baby is a boy or a girl!

I had been feeling boy - but not for any reason other than a very vivid dream I had in which I gave birth to a boy on Nov. 12 (which in itself would be unlikely since I'm usually late, not 2 weeks early!) My pregnancy this time has been different from ALL the previous ones, so that's no help in analyzing for a guess! My mother thinks it's a boy. My grandmother and sister-in-law Sue have both said girl from the beginning. Madeleine wants another sister; Teresa wants another brother but just today told me she is starting to think it's a girl.

So by this time tomorrow, we should know who was right! :)

The Prima Ballerina, the Tap Superstar, and their Mom's Random Musings :)

In my previous post I told you all about our weekend with Mom and Jeff, and the highlight of it was Teresa and Maddy's dance performance. I wish I had some pictures, or video, of the actual performances, but of course they do not allow any photography or videography whatsoever, so that they can then sucker you into paying outrageous prices for their professional studio portraits and DVDs :) So below are some photos I took while the girls were getting ready, and pre- and post-show. Also, to see the professional ones, which really did come out great, follow this link, click "yes," and then go to page 3 for Maddy's individual and class shots as well as the girls' sibling shots (which I love!), and page 9 for Teresa's individual and class shots.

Not only did they look absolutely beautiful, the girls both did an AMAZING job on their dances! Teresa's was a ballet dance to "Sunshine Angel," and Maddy's was a tap dance to "Mr. Sandman." They really knew their routines well, and they both gave it their all - you could really tell they were putting their hearts into it and having a lot of fun. And it's not just me saying that (yeah, I'm just slightly partial!) A whole bunch of people (and even non-related ones, LOL!) came up and told me that my girls were each the best in their classes. Even the moms of some of the other little girls in Maddy's class told me that she was the best! (OK, does the fact that this *made my year* mean that I'm a horrible, evil, stage-mother-in-the-making?)

Steve has been kidding me that I do have the makings of a stage mom. I swear I would never be like that - I would NEVER force my kids to continue in a hobby they didn't like, or pressure them to do anything beyond putting forth their best effort. But I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a little maternal pride in their accomplishments, or feeling some satisfaction that they not only put forth a big effort, but really did quite well - especially after all the time and money we invested in the classes, the costumes, the photos, the hair and makeup, etc.

I admit I was a little taken aback by the attitudes of some of the other moms. There were, of course, a few little girls who came on stage and had that "deer-in-the-headlights" look, and then just stood there on the stage, completely still, for the duration of the routine, not even attempting to remember the steps to the dance. The other moms were laughing at this and saying how cute and adorable it was. Now, yes, I agree that a sweet little 3- or 4-year-old all dolled up in a costume and stage makeup is cute and adorable no matter what, but still, I'll admit I'd be just a bit embarrassed if that were my kid - I don't think I'd be laughing it up with the other moms if I'd just paid hundreds of dollars and spent hours a week for months and months to see my child stand still on the stage. So, again, does that make me a terrible mom? I hope not. I certainly didn't hold it against any of the other kids - except when one of them stood right in front of Maddy! Then I (and my mother!) did get a bit annoyed. If you're going to stand still, fine, but don't stand still right in front of MY kid, who actually has the routine down pat and is dancing her heart out!

In another number (not either of my kids') there was a little girl who started sobbing hysterically every time she went on stage. She'd cry and run offstage, the teacher in the wings would try to get her to go back on, she'd come back on and start bawling and run off again. I did feel bad for her, of course. But I had to think, wasn't there some sign of this earlier in the year? Didn't her parents know her well enough to know this might happen? Couldn't the teacher have suggested that the mom wait another year or so to enroll her, if the little girl wasn't ready to be on stage yet? I don't know. But I'm sorry, you know who I also felt bad for? The girl on the other end of the stage who knew the routine well and was dancing beautifully. Between the crying girl and the girl who was dancing so well, there was a long line of kids who were happy to be on stage but who had no clue what they were doing. The girl who knew the routine was getting so frustrated, desperately pointing and gesturing at her classmates in an effort to remind them where on stage they were supposed to be and what step they were supposed to be on. They weren't crying, but they were giggling and paying no attention. I'm sure it's hard to be the kid who doesn't know what she's doing, but as I know from experience, it's also sometimes quite hard to be the one who does know what she's doing (I never had any talent for dancing, but I know this from other arenas!)

Maddy said to me a week or so before the dress rehearsal, "Mama, it's hard to do my recital dance when the other girls don't do what they're supposed to." And it's true - if you're in a two-line formation where, at a certain point, the lines are supposed to change places, how do you do your step (going up to the front line) if the girl in the front line is not moving from her spot to come to the back line and change places with you? I want to teach her to be a team player, to be in it for the group, and not to be bossy or obnoxious (yeah, I know that one from experience, too - the kid who is best at whatever it is and tries to "help" the others along is not typically rewarded with gratitude and popularity, but rather the label of "teacher's pet" or "nerd" or "show-off"). But I also don't want her to adopt the attitude that excellence is something to be embarrassed about, or that a little bit of competitive spirit is a negative thing, or that popularity in a peer group is worth squashing your own talents and abilities. (There was just an article about this phenomenon in the latest issue of Mothering magazine.) So I told her that if the girls next to her were not remembering the next step, she could gently guide them in a nice way (for example, putting her hands on the shoulders of the girl next to her to signal her when it's time to turn around and do the "train"). I don't know if this was the right thing to do, but it seemed to work.

This all reminds me of an incident that occurred a few months ago. The dance teacher sent home a note with each of the girls in Maddy's class, explaining that behavior had not been good lately, the girls were not coming to class "with their listening ears on" and were fooling around too much. She said that it was getting harder for her to keep control and teach, and asked that we parents please talk to the girls at home about proper behavior in class, following instructions, etc. I felt very bad about this and Steve and I immediately sat down with Maddy and had a talk about expectations in a class setting, the authority of the teacher, and the like. What shocked me was this - the next week, when I heard the other moms discussing the note from the teacher, I joined in and said something like, "Yeah, I felt bad for the teacher. It provided a good learning opportunity for Maddy, though - my husband and I had a talk with her as the teacher suggested." The other moms looked at me like I was nuts. One of them said, "You felt bad for the teacher?! We all felt bad for our poor little girls who were being attacked by her! My husband and I are thinking of writing a note to the school director complaining about her bad attitude toward the kids! She shouldn't be teaching little kids if she can't understand that this is just how 4-year-olds act!" I was dumbfounded! These moms could not possibly fathom that their perfect little girls might have done something that would need correction, and even if they had, they dismissed it as normal and still blamed the teacher.

I don't deny that there are lousy teachers out there who would be too hard on little kids or who would have age-inappropriate expectations of them. That's one of the many, many reasons we had originally planned to homeschool. And certainly, if I had any inkling that this was that sort of a situation, I would have been the first one discussing it with the teacher (yes, with her first, not jumping over her head to her supervisor right away.) But I've watched this class and spoken with this teacher and witnessed her interactions with the girls, and she is a very sweet and gentle person who has an obvious talent for working with young kids.

I think one of the biggest problems with our society today is what's been called the "cult of mediocrity" - the sort of dumbing-down, lowest-common-denominator approach that often pervades our schools, our workplaces, our government, our culture. Son not getting good grades? Don't help him study more effectively, drug him up with Ritalin. Daughter doesn't like her teacher? Don't help her learn how to get along with other people, just threaten to stop donating to the school if she's not moved to a different class. Steve saw this sort of thing all the time at the expensive private schools where he taught for years. Everything is someone else's problem, and anything difficult isn't worth working at or sacrificing for.

And then we wonder why many of us in Gen X and Gen Y can't hold down jobs, can't keep relationships from dissolving, aren't happy unless everything is going our way. We rush to divorce court at the first sign of discord. We switch from breastfeeding to artificial feeding at the first twinge of discomfort or perceived inconvenience. We leave our place of worship the first time we're challenged by its teachings. We (or our therapists) find someone else on whom to pin the blame for whatever issues arise in our lives.

I realize it might be a stretch to extrapolate from a preschoolers' dance class to a societal diagnosis, but I think it's valid. It just might start when a mom tells her 4-year-old, "It's OK honey, you don't have to do the dance if you don't want to, and don't listen to that mean old teacher either - you just do whatever you want." It's not a choice between that and pressuring the poor kid into a heart attack over the dance routine, where she thinks she's not loved and valued unless she excels at everything. That's a false dichotomy that I hear way too often. There's an appropriate middle ground where you encourage the child to do her best, and to really make an effort to push past her comfortable limits - where you let her know that she is loved no matter what, and you're proud of her regardless, but yet teach her that SHE will be most proud of HERSELF when she tries harder and reaches farther and doesn't take the easy way out.

Well, it sounds good anyway. Ask me again in about 10 years. :)

In the meantime, my little dancers ROCKED. They outdid themselves, and I am REALLY proud of them. So if that makes me a stage mother, so be it. ;)

One Fantastic Weekend!

This past weekend was wonderful for two reasons: first, Teresa and Madeleine performed in their dance recitals (Teresa's third performance and Maddy's very first!) and second, both my mother and my brother flew out to spend Thursday through Sunday with us and be there in the audience!

So, we're still recovering from the exhaustion (you wouldn't believe how much work it is to have two little girls be in a dance recital - with dress rehearsals, pictures, hair appointments, specific stage makeup requirements - you'd think I had two of the Rockettes living with me! And of course, Steve managed to schedule a business trip and be out of town for most everything except the recitals themsevles!) but we're also still coming down from the incredible high - between the performances and the other fun stuff we did with Grandma and Uncle Jeff, those few days were jam-packed with excitement!

With Steve away in Michigan, the kids and I picked up Mom and Jeff at the airport on Thursday afternoon. We were SOOOO happy to see them! We hadn't seen Mom since her first trip out here in early March, and we hadn't seen Jeff since Christmas, before we moved here. The cutest thing was that Andrew was totally obsessed with Uncle Jeff! Maybe he sensed the need for some guy time, especially with Steve away. But he took to him instantly and didn't want to leave his side all weekend! And Jeff, to his credit, has really grown in his ability to relate to the kids (more on that later). When I first had Teresa, he was still pretty young (heck, *I* was pretty young myself!), and he'd really never spent much time around, nor had much experience with, little kids. But now, he's the epitome of the cool, fun uncle, and the kids just adore him!

So, we went to one of our favorite cool local spots for lunch (Sauce, a gourmet pizza and wine bistro-type place) and then Frost, a gelato shop, for dessert. Then we came back home and spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing in the pool (since Jeff's one request was to return to Chicago with a tan). I made dinner, one of my favorite "local color" recipes (Margarita Shrimp) outside on the grill, and then we got the kids to bed so that Mom, Jeff, and I could catch up a bit.

On Friday, I cooked a big breakfast for everyone and we relaxed around the house in the morning (of course Jeff went right out to enjoy the pool again!) Then we drove around a bit on a mini-sightseeing trip so I could point out some of the pretty local points of interest. And we ended up where I'd made reservations for a special surprise for everyone in the afternoon - a traditional high tea service (which my family always loves) at this absolutely adorable tea house, the Chantilly Tea Room. It was fantastic! The Duchess Afternoon Tea (for the adults) included a choice of very unique teas served with tea sandwiches, savories, homemade scones and accompaniments, pastries, cookies, etc. (Good thing I've been working out at Curves almost every morning!) For the kids, they have the Mad Hatter Tea - hot chocolate served in a beautiful teapot, with cute little PB&J tea sandwiches and jellybean scones. The kids TOTALLY loved that, and of course the girls are now begging to go back next month for Chantilly's special Princess Tea (where everyone must come dressed as her favorite Princess).

After tea, we attempted to walk off some of the carbohydrate overload at La Encantada, a gorgeous shopping center full of fabulous stores. Great-grandma had sent a few dollars for each of the kids with Mom, so they spent their money at Mildred & Dildred, an awesome old-fashioned toy shop. I had to visit Mimi Maternity - since of course, this being only my fourth child, I don't have a nearly large enough maternity wardrobe yet ;) I mean, it's not as if I have an entire separate closet full of just maternity and nursing clothes. Uh....OK....so maybe I do, but still....! Come on, it IS 110 degrees here right now, so turtleneck sweaters and wool skirts are not going to do it.

Friday night was Uncle Jeff's treat! He told me he was trying to think of something fun that he could do with his nieces and nephew that they don't do much otherwise, and he came up with the idea of bowling! This was SO perfect - the kids had never been bowling before, ever, and the girls had recently started begging to go sometime. So Uncle Jeff treated us all to sandwiches at Quizno's and then a couple of games at Fiesta Lanes. I had forgotten that my brother had played on a bowling team back in grade school, but he's still really good - in one game, he had something like 7 strikes! He had them put the bumpers down in the kids' lane and taught all three of them how to bowl - it was the cutest thing! Of course Teresa, my Little Miss Competitive, had a fit when she couldn't bowl perfectly on her first try (actually, Maddy won both games in the kids' lane!) but all the kids ended up having a blast - as did I (even though I had bowled in about 8 years and this confirmed that I still STINK at bowling just as badly as I did back then!)

Steve finally got home from his trip late Friday night, so the kids were excited to see him and tell him all about our adventures with Grandma and Uncle Jeff.

I think I'll post about the recitals and those photos separately - but most of the rest of the weekend was taken up with the preparation and then performances. On Saturday night, we took everyone out to a special dinner in Mexico to celebrate the great job the girls did - we went to my absolute favorite place, La Roca, which is just over the border in Nogales, Mexico. It still amazes me that we can go to Mexico so easily! I just love it. I went there last week with a girlfriend and her kids, to do some shopping in the markets (I bought a very gorgeous talavera serving dish, among other things!) It's just so cool to be able to park the car on the U.S. side of border and just walk with our strollers right over in Mexico, do some shopping and grab lunch, and then go home! But La Roca is just fabulous - it's the best food you'll ever taste, the best live Mexican music, and the most unique and beautiful ambience (the reason it's called "La Roca" is that it's actually built into the side of a mountain - right into the rock.) Mom and Jeff really enjoyed it.

But before we knew it, it was time to drop Mom and Jeff at the airport again on Sunday. We were SO sad to see them go! Here are some photos of our time together:

Happy Birthday Madeleine!!!!!!!!

I cannot belive my little "Maddy-Fish" is 4 years old today!!! We had a super-fun birthday party at Build-A-Bear Workshop today, and just got back from dinner at Red Robin this evening. Photos to come very soon!