KERRI'S SONORAN SOAPBOX: January 2008

Steve asked me recently why I had a MUCH easier time moving to AZ than I'd had moving to PA, when this was a much more involved, much farther relocation. I could only say that when we were living in Washington, I fully intended to live there forever, but somewhere in my heart I always had the feeling that PA was going to be temporary. Of course, I thought we'd be heading back to D.C., most likely.

If you'd have told me years ago (or probably even months ago) that I'd be living in Arizona, and loving it, I'd have thought you were crazy! When we moved to PA, I was very homesick for D.C. I loved everything about the Washington area, and I never really liked PA (as a location) very much. However, in time I made some wonferful friends there, joined a homeschool co-op, became involved with La Leche League, enjoyed being closer to much of my family, and it eventually started to feel like home. Also, in retrospect, I believe that we were brought to PA in large part so that we'd be able to spend so much more time with my father in what would be, unbeknownst to us at the time, the last years of his life.

I was (and am) blessed to have such great friends back in PA, but I still hoped we'd eventually move to an area I liked more, that offered more of what's important to me - and I had assumed that would mean going back to D.C., or maybe NY - but certainly somewhere in the Northeast or mid-Atlantic.

And yet, as always, God leads you where you're meant to be if you're open to His will, whether it's what you expect or not! So here we are. And while I VERY much miss my friends back in PA, my family in NJ and NY (especially my mother), and the proximity to other family and friends in D.C., I love Tucson so far. I almost feel guilty for how much I like it here, as if I can't truly miss everyone enough if I'm enjoying myself this much, if that makes any sense. So I'll try to share a few reasons why Tucson feels like home already:

Kerri's Top Five Reasons to Love Tucson (so far!)

Reason #5: It's unique.

I've lived in all different places - from overseas, to huge cities, to cute small towns, to not-so-cute small towns. I have always loved interesting places - from exotic countries to major U.S. cities. I really dislike suburbs; the whole cookie-cutter, every-neighborhood-looks-like-every-other-neighborhood, Wal-Mart at the center of the town type thing is just not for me. OK, so we do have Wal-Mart in Tucson, unfortunately - but that just gives me another boycott group to join! :) Now, obviously Tucson is neither a major city nor an exotic country, but it is a city in its own right, and it has a fair degree of the exotic thanks to its proximity to Mexico, its large population of transplants and immigrants, and its unique history.

The location (60 miles from the Mexican border!) is different. The architecture is different, the neighbohoods are different, the landscape is different. The stores are different. The food is (sometimes) different. The climate is different. The history and the culture are different. The language (often) is different. The attitudes of the people are different.

I like different.

What's so cool, for me, is that Tucson has the few things I do appreciate about suburbs (very clean, nice neighborhoods, no parking problems, little traffic, pretty much everything easily accessible) but at the same time, it really is a city. It's a Western city, so not the enormity of scale that I'm used to, but despite the fact that it's flatter and more spread out, it's still a city, with all the unique, funky, cultural, historic, and worldly things you'd expect to find in an urban environment. We've already discovered cool places that remind us of downtown West Chester back in PA, or Dupont Circle in D.C. - like Max & Maude's, an upscale and funky children's boutique, and Frost, a homemade gelato shop and espresso bar with dozens of gelato flavors, decorated all in translucent silver and blue. Also, besides the ubiquitous Starbucks (and I'm not complaining there!) there are locations of chains you can't find everywhere, like Keva Juice. We also have some seriously phenomenal shopping here (and yes, I'm severely restricted until our PA house sells!)

Reason #4: It's G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!

I have never lived anywhere where I actually drive around with my digital camera out and laying within reach on the passenger seat, just in case.

This area is absolutely beautiful, and the locals tell me it's about to get even more beautiful - spring arrives here in the desert in about two weeks! Come mid-February and early March, it starts to get quite warm (but not yet very hot) and all the flowering trees and cactus bloom! I can't wait to see this.

If I'm to be totally honest, I've always been the type who was more awed by the created than the natural. I'd have taken towering skyscrapers over towering trees any day; gleaming sculptures in a park over a gleaming lake in a park. But the mountains and the desert here are truly breathtaking. Tucson is ringed by five different mountain ranges, and the combination of the clear blue skies, the enormous mountains, the waving palm trees, and the variety of really cool vegatation make for pretty views everywhere.

The other day, I came out of Target and audibly gasped at the beauty in front of me - Target on the inside looks pretty much like any other Target, so I had sort of temporarily forgotten where I was - I walked into the parking lot half-expecting to see the other strip malls along PA's Rte. 100 in front of me, and instead I saw gorgeous trees with purple flowers lining the parking lot, and the clouds descending like a fluffy tablecloth draped over the tops of the mountains, and I was momentarily taken aback!

Somehow, even the strip malls out here manage to look prettier and somewhat more unique than the indistinguishable variety I grew up with in NJ. And the southwestern-style houses, some adobe/New Mexican, some Spanish, some Mediterranean - the whole look of the city makes me feel like I'm on a resort vacation!

At night, it's incredible how dark the sky is - this is because Tucson is home to one of the best observatories in the country, as well as the International Dark-Sky Association, so there are laws restricting the types of outdoor lights allowed in the area (for example, as Steve pointed out to me, all the streetlights have special covers on them that cast the light downward only, and prevent any light from shining into the sky).

Of course, maybe this is just the novelty of all this and my views will change over time - I can't be sure. And also of course, no place is perfect - there are parts of Tucson, like any small or large city, that I probably wouldn't go to alone at night. But that's OK - you can find me sitting by the pool having a margaria most nights :)

Reason #3: It's Friendly

OK, I know it sounds like a total stereotype to say that people in the Northeast are unfriendly and people in other parts of the country are more friendly, but let's face it, many stereotypes exist precisely because they are, in large part, accurate.

Now, I was born and raised in New York and suburban New Jersey, and then spent much of my adult life in Washington, D.C., and for many, many years took pride in the sort of attitude sometimes associated with those of us hailing from that part of the country - sophistication, nonchalance, individualism to the point of self-centeredness, a slight (or sometimes not-so-slight) bit of elitism - looking down our noses at all those less-fortunate folk without the benefit of living in our intelligent, urbane, cultured, center of the universe. Oh yes, I embodied that perfectly.

So maybe I'm getting old (or - gasp - maturing!) or something, but all of a sudden, that's starting to sound a lot less like sophistication and a lot more like snobbery to me. And what's worse is that, the more time I spend in places outside the Northeast/mid-Atlantic and the more people I spend time with who do not come from there, the more I realize that it may be unjustified snobbery, which is even worse in my book. A lot of the people I meet these days, whom I'm sad to say I'm sure I would have looked down upon years ago, now seem to be much more like the type of person I want to be than the people I looked up to back then.

So what does that have to do with Tucson? Well, the people here are, quite simply, nice. And I'm finding that "nice" is a good thing! (What a revelation, I know... :-P) I generally hate words like "nice" and "friendly" because they're so general and simplistic and sound like I could be describing a dog as easily as a person, but honestly, that's how people are here, and that's a compliment.

Now obviously, there are plenty of nice people in the Northeast, too - but everyone here - and I really do mean 99% of the people I've had occasion to interact with in Tucson thus far - from our new neighbors, to the other moms at the girls' dance class, to the bagger at the grocery store, even to the Motor Vehicles employees! - is extraordinarily warm and welcoming. I used to think statments like, "Oh, the people are nicer and the pace of life is slower," really meant, "the people are clueless and the pace of life is boring," but now I'm finding that's just not so.

Perhaps my perspective is distorted because the Philadelphia area was actually ranked as the #1 most depressed city in the entire country (based on such lovely indicators as the sales of antidepressant drugs, suicide rates, and the number of days residents reported feelings of depression), outpacing even Detroit, that former bastion of the blues which held the dubious title for many years. But people here seem, almost invariably, genuinely happy, calm, and peaceful.

Maybe it's the lovely climate (Tucson has more days of sunshine on average per year than any other place in the U.S.); maybe it's the relatively good standard of living (even in a borderline recession, Tucson is still experiencing growth and a good employment rate). I have yet to figure out why, but much to the surprise of this former Northeast elitist, I don't care - I'm rather enjoying it.

Reason #2: It's Family-Friendly

Perhaps this goes along with people being friendly in general, but I'm finding Tucson to be a very family-friendly and FUN place! My friend Paula, who came to PA from our northern neighbor Utah, told me to expect this from the intra-mountain West. She mentioned this over and over, and I admit I thought she was putting an awfully fine point on it, but now I see why! There's a TON for families with young kids to do, and everyone seems to be very accepting of children, from restaurant owners (you see families with several kids nearly everywhere, even at nicer restaurants) to shops (no one batted an eye when my kids tried out every sofa and chair in the Ethan Allen showroom while Steve and I ordered our new bedroom set).

In two weeks of living here, I've already found enough family activities to keep us busy for the next 6 months (and hopefully, to keep me successfully procrastinating from unpacking for a while, too!) The Tucson mall has a whole brochure at every entrance listing all the services and activities they provide for mom and kids, and even the website is directed toward us moms. There are branches of all the usual kids' activity places here (My Gym, Gymboree, Chuck E. Cheese, Kindermusik, plus all of the local dance schools, art schools, gymnastics, sports). There are tons of parks, libraries, a children's museum, etc.

For adults and older kids, there's a ton of cultural things to do in Tucson - the city even has its own symphony (of course Steve is excited about that!) People here also seem healthier and more outdoorsy - you don't see nearly as many obese people, fast-food places are prevalent of course, but not AS prevalent as I'm used to, and people exercise more - hiking is huge here, as are swimming and golf, and also just plain walking around in the neighborhood (I need to save up for a good AT stroller!)

There's also a very large Catholic community here - tons of churches and very good Catholic schools (good to know as a backup if we ever decided not to homeschool), and even - a true blessing - a Traditional Latin Mass community!! We are SO excited to be able to attend the TLM every week here! (We haven't gone there yet, mostly because we wanted to see what our local parish was like, and also because I lost my old chapel veil and had to order a new one, plus re-memorize the Latin prayers so I don't look like a moron :) - in PA, the TLM was not widely available, even after the Holy Father's motu proprio, so I'm out of practice on that. I can't wait to teach the kids the prayers in the universal language of the Church. But now we're prepared and this Sunday we're heading over there, so more on that later!)

In general, you see families everywhere - and most of them have several kids. Even the immigrant population and the less-fortunate folks, who often get a bad rap around here given the political issues of late, seem to be very family-oriented and of a much more wholesome nature compared with what many of us are used to from the news reports on in the Northeast. Even at the mall on a Saturday night, you don't seem to have as much of the "undesirable" stuff going on - the worst I noticed was one guy with a mohawk and another guy with his pants' waist hanging halfway down his boxers (the look my Dad used to call, "I have a load in my underwear"); but nothing truly vulgar, no really obscene clothes, no scary goth types, no 12-year-olds with their hands down each other's pants, etc. (What a sad statement on our culture these days that noticing the absence of the these things is actually cause for comment, but...)

At that same mall, I regularly see several moms nursing in public, more than I ever saw at once back in PA. Granted, some of them still feel the misguided need to try to hide under those hideous circus tents - um, "nursing covers" - thus making themselves even more conspicuous (the irony of that one makes me laugh every time) but hey, infinitely better than not nursing at all!

and the #1 Reason I Love Tucson: Its Location

As I mentioned in #2, there's so much FUN stuff to do right here in Tucson, it's amazing - but for those few things you can't get here (you know, those really essential things, like, um, Nordstrom), the city is located in a great place - you can find almost everything you could ever want within a reasonable distance. Phoenix, which ranks in the top 10 largest U.S. cities, is less than two hours away. Scottsdale, a major international resort area, is closer still. The Grand Canyon, a major U.S. landmark, is here in Arizona (albeit the other end of the state). In an hour, you can be in another country entirely! In three hours, you can drive to the beach. In five hours, you can drive to San Diego. If we miss the snow next Christmastime, we can drive to Flagstaff, where there's almost always snow in the mountains in winter. In fact, as one of the relocation guides put it, this part of Arizona is one of the only places in the entire country where you can go skiing on a snowy mountain in the morning, and be back home lounging by your pool in a swimsuit by late afternoon!

So there you have it - my observations of Tucson so far. I may add some, I may change some as I experience living here longer, but for right now, I'm very happy. The only that would make me happier is if my family and old friends come to visit, so perhaps this will have convinced you to make a trip out here!

OK, I'm working on a different post for later today about all the things I love about Arizona thus far, but here's a little thing I don't love - I have to share this little public service announcment: What Not to Say to Someone with a Bee Phobia.

Yesterday we went to Teresa's P.E. class for homeschoolers (which is really great, by the way! It's taught by a former school coach who now works for an organization called Athletes in Training - we have a big group of kids, ages 4 - 10 or so, and she really gets them moving and exercising and playing various team sports, working on coordination, cooperation, etc.). This was our second time in attendance - I signed her up as soon as we moved here for the Jan.-May session, once a week for an hour (very reasonable, too - $75 for the whole session of 5 months!)

Anyway, the class meets at a local park, and while Teresa is on the sports field with the big kids, there's a playground right next to the field that's great for the little ones. So Maddy and Andrew were on the playground and I was chatting with some of the other homeschool moms.

Now, those of you who know me well know that I have an almost debilitating fear of stinging insects. Really, I am terrified of bees, and that's an understatement. I've tried very hard (but failed abysmally, unfortunately) to avoid passing this fear on to the kids (some of you from our PA homeschool group will recall the time, on the way from a holy day Mass to breakfast out, that I had to pull over on the side of Rte. 322 between St. Peter's and Shady Maple because a bee had gotten into my car. Not only was it all I could do to avoid having a panic attack and causing an accident, but the girls were screaming and unbuckling themselves from their carseats to try to jump out the windows while I was driving. We had a whole fleet of minivans and full-size vans pulling over in Honeybrook, thinking I was having car trouble as I was unloading children into a corn field and fanning my car.)

And now we're lucky enough to live in a climate where there are bees flying around.....well, virtually all year round. People around here are very outdoorsy, calm, easygoing, and I made up mind that I was NOT going to make a fool of myself in front of my new friends by acting like a total nutcase at the park, so as the first bee began furiously circling my perfurmed head as I pushed Andrew on the swings, I closed my eyes and repeated to myself the mantra, "Do not panic. You are a grown woman and you are not going to look like a loser in front of your new friends." Trying to hide my full-body shaking, I gently waved the bee away with as much feigned nonchalance as I could muster, but apparently my facial expression must have given me away, because the very nice mom I was talking to at the time felt the need to "reassure" me by saying:

"Oh, don't worry - this time of year, they're usually not Africanized."